Hayyyyy guys. I know we’ve talked about how to survive a party, a BBQ, and even the Thanksgiving holiday, but the Christmas / New Year’s stretch is often 10 days or more of being “on vacation, so, what the heck, I’ll have another burrito! See you in 2 weeks, Gym!” and stuff. And 10 days of that is gonna do some real damage. So, let’s set a few, easy to follow ground rules that will STILL let you have an awesome time, but also let you not destroy your body. Read More
It’s that time of year y’all. Next Thursday we’ll gather warmly with family and friends and try so hard to eat an amount of food that is so great, it becomes impossible to move. What a celebration.
So, look. I know it’s tough to be the healthy one, or even think about health and well-being on a day aimed at basically prepping you to be human foie gras (i.e. force-fed until you are a fatty and expensive menu item). Why not just let yourself have one day? One day to pour starch and butter and sugar into your body for hours? I’ll tell you why not. Because we are mature people with self-respect, and we are awesome at fitnessing, and we take no prisoners, not even on Thanksgiving. That’s why not.
So here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna indulge, sure. We’re gonna try some delicious pie that your mom makes, and have some of grandma’s famous stuffing, and we’re gonna enjoy the day. But we’re also gonna be sensible human beings who understand caloric intake and how it affects our bodies. We do not need to each 3,000 – 4,000 calories just because… — I mean actually I really have no idea why we all have been programmed to do that. Thankfulness? Anyway. Let’s get to tips on doing only minor damage on Thanksgiving. We all know this isn’t going to be a HEALTHY day, but maybe we can at least keep the destruction to a minimum. Here we go. Read More
Oh good, it’s summer in New York City, which means everything smells like hot soda and all of your friends invite you to barbecues in hundred degree heat on a strip of cement outside their apartment because oh my god we are going to take advantage of this sunshine to prove we don’t live in a concrete mass of soullessness isn’t this so fun.
It’s inevitable that you will, at minimum, attend (or HOST, for god’s sake) at least one barbecue this summer season. Barbecues are a hotbed of greasy, mayonnaisey, chip-n-dip-n-beer fitnessing nightmares. This can be very frightening for those of us with high fitness priorities and low self control.
OK I WILL AVOID THEM AND SIT INSIDE WATCHING INSIDE AMY SCHUMER
Well, she is very funny, but I feel like maybe you should live your life and go see your friends and eat food outside with them (#YOLO amirite). And you don’t have to be that weird kid that brought a bag of celery sticks and club soda and carries them around with you all night. You can go, and enjoy your time, and even eat and drink some cool stuff while you’re there.
So, fitnessing can be easy if you stay home on the weeknights and cook your own dinner, and also, the weekends too, and also avoid alcohol, and stick to baked chicken and vegetables. Fitnessing can be SO easy.
But, this isn’t a blog for those people. It’s a blog for FUN people. Aren’t we so FUN? And fun people, sometimes (often), go to meet friends for happy hour, to have fun. Which can make fitnessing a little tricky. But it doesn’t mean you can’t still Have It All. So let’s talk about how to make your happy hour completely free of shame hangovers.
There are two main aspects of happy hour. The drinks and the food. You don’t meet for food, you meet for drinks, and then after two of them, both of you are like, “are you hungry? I’m like, sort of HUNGRY, maybe” and then you agree on calamari and nachos “just to pick on something” and now you’ve gone and done it. Everything is ruined. Read More
Okay urrbody, here is the most important post ever: how do you fitness and alcohol at the same time?
This is very difficult, and please note, you should never do both at the EXACT same time. This is dangerous, and will prevent you from doing either effectively.
No, we’re talking about doing them both at the same time in the LIFESTYLE sense. Because in life, we are always fitnessing. But sometimes, we are also having cocktails.
Let’s start with broad strokes. Here is the hierarchy of alcohol types, in order of “healthiness” from most to least: Read More