How to Alcohol.

Okay urrbody, here is the most important post ever: how do you fitness and alcohol at the same time?

This is very difficult, and please note, you should never do both at the EXACT same time. This is dangerous, and will prevent you from doing either effectively.

No, we’re talking about doing them both at the same time in the LIFESTYLE sense. Because in life, we are always fitnessing. But sometimes, we are also having cocktails.

Let’s start with broad strokes. Here is the hierarchy of alcohol types, in order of “healthiness” from most to least:

1. Wine: one 5oz serving has about 100 calories, is low-carb, and is even good for your heart! But I think after like 2 glasses it stops being a health benefit and starts just being the “least bad” choice. Anyway it’s delicious and you can buy it by the case. Always. Choose. This.
2. Liquor on the rocks: (not liqueur, which is basically alcoholic maple syrup.) Any straight liquor like rum, gin, tequila, vodka, or whiskey, has around 100 calories for a 1.5 oz serving, and is also low-carb. The mixers are where you get totally destroyed, so if you can’t drink them straight or with club soda, first of all, man up, what’s your deal, and second of all, go with a different alcohol category.
3. Light beer: some people just love beer, and don’t get me wrong, I do too, but light beer seems like a waste of time. You might as well drink a club soda. But if you’re one of those people that love beer and must drink it in large quantity, you should start liking light beer. Sam Adams light is the only one I’ve had that tastes almost like beer. Calories range from 100 – 125 calories for 12 oz, but it’s a high-carb choice.
4. Mixed drinks: so, there are SOME sensible choices here. If you choose low-sugar mixers, like diet sodas or low-sugar juices, you can keep the beverage at around 200 calories.
5. Beer: so tasty, but can be 200-300 calories AND high in carbs. This generally should be reserved for especially desperate times.
6. Fancy cocktails: OH MY GOD THERE IS SO MUCH SUGAR. This is just sugar and calories. And sugar. These should be a very special treat thing, not an “I spent all night drinking cosmopolitans at that ugly sweater party” thing. This is 150-400 calories.

Also, don’t forget per my Party Strategy post, it’s always smart to alternate 1 alcoholic beverage with 1 glass of water or club soda, to cut calories (and to increase self control while decreasing likelihood of eating 45 oreos). One of the biggest weight-gain factors of alcohol isn’t the calories you take in while drinking it, it’s the calories you take in while eating chili cheese fries because you were drinking it. It’s a huge appetizer (in the increases your appetite way, not jalapeno poppers way).

So, here are some things I gravitate towards to try and keep my alcohol-loving, fitnessing self happy:

1. Red wine. Just, so often.
2. Tequila on the rocks with 3 lime wedges: margaritas are the best but also the WORST. The sour mix is so much sugar, the triple sec is pretty much just orange flavored sugar, and the fake lime juice is lime flavored sugar. Squeeze fresh lime juice in there yourself, and you’re keeping your drink at minimum calories. I’m “lucky” in that I don’t really like sweet drinks so this actually tastes better to me, but if you’re fitnessing, you probably are generally eating less sugar and your taste buds start to adjust accordingly. Or, anyway that’s what happened to me, and 1 out of 1 is 100% results, so it will probably happen to you.
3. Prosecco: I usually get this when I’m in the mood for beer, because it’s the same carbonated refreshing sensation, but lower in carbs and calories. AND fancier, because it comes in a champagne flute.

HOLIDAY TIP: You guys, please avoid the eggnog. One cup has like 20 grams of fat, 21 grams of sugar, and 350 calories. Swap it out for bourbon with apple cider and cinnamon, which is still a very special holiday treat, but has less than a gram of fat and around 215 calories (it does have 25g of sugar though, so do not drink it all night. Drink one or two and then switch to wine).

If you have secret sneaky healthy drink ideas, let me know because it would be nice to not have a purple mouth from wine sometimes.