So I’m sure EVERYONE remembers that total force of a post, Nutritionist #1: Eat More Protein, which was published back in November and took the fitness world by storm. Well, lucky for you, I’m super neurotic and saw another nutritionist to find out why I was so hungry and still didn’t look like Jennifer Hudson yet (the “after” version, of course. Also, I still don’t).
At the time I was eating mostly egg whites and spinach, and probably hadn’t had a sandwich in months. Which is why I was FLIPPING OUT with glee from her advice.
Sandwiches are okay. So is jam. You will not get fat if you have a sandwich for lunch, or put jam in your greek yogurt in the mornings. When you eat food, you should feel full afterwards (full meaning satisfied, not meaning unbutton your pants).
BUT JAM IS POISON
Yes, that is what I said. It’s just sugar! That’s nothing but more pounds! And then the nutritionist told me to shut up. Actually the conversation went like this:
- Me: “Jam is poison.”
- N#2: “Jam is not poison. It’s great to have in greek yogurt.”
- Me: “But greek yogurt is better for you if it’s plain.”
- N#2: “Will you eat greek yogurt plain?”
- Me: “No way.”
- N#2: “Then eat jam in greek yogurt.”
Kind of hard to argue with that, though I did for a little while longer. The theory here is similar to my thoughts on the Gyoom diet, which is basically that if it’s impossible for you to do something, then stop beating yourself up about it, and just do what you can. EASE UP ON Y’ALLSELVES.
AND WHAT WAS THE DEAL WITH SANDWICHES
Okay so the main reason I went to see another nutritionist was that not only did I not look like J-Hud (“after”), but I was hungry All. The. Time. I was never not hungry. I was eating as little as possible (at this point still gaming the WW points system) so this should not have been a surprise to me. She tried to get me to understand that part of eating food is feeling full, which I thought was a totally cute idea that probably worked for skinny people. But, turns out, you’re supposed to fill your body with things that are both healthy and satisfying. If eating a sandwich at lunch will make you feel full for a few hours, but a salad makes you a crazy person, just eat a damn sandwich. Eating carbs in the middle of the day is good anyway, because then you’re still using that energy the rest of the day and you burn it off. Plus then you’re less likely to feel like you need to eat carbs at dinner.
BUT THE SALAD WILL MAKE ME SKINNIER
Well, maybe not. It is possible that if you feel hungry all the time, and aren’t eating enough calories, then your body will start to store fat, because it thinks it’s starving.
OKAY, OFF TO EAT MAC N CHEESE
Yeah, see that’s where you sort of have to find a balance. You can’t use this as free rein to eat a bunch of bullshit, just because you’re worried that your body will go into starvation mode if you don’t have that cinnamon bun. BUT, if you feel really hungry, and it lasts more than like 20 minutes (after you try drinking a glass of water first), then chances are, you should eat something. And if spinach won’t fill you up, then eat something that will. See? No bigs. Eat stuff when you’re hungry, and make smart choices about that stuff.
WHAT ARE SMART CHOICES
You’re so good at questions. The last tip she gave me was to generally stick to foods that are on the perimeter of the grocery store; then you’re at a much higher advantage to be making a smart choice, because you’re choosing from unprocessed, fresh foods. Feel free to steal from my grocery list. Also, don’t forget to heed the advice of our first nutritionist, and make sure you get your protein on, even in snacks. That’s a pretty good way to make sure you feel full.
So anyway. Full: it’s not just for skinny people anymore.*
*I’m totally available if y’all need taglines and stuff. Supergood at it, obviously.