Archive

Advice from Experience

Alright I know I’ve been all about Greek Yogurt and grilled chicken breast, but I’ve had a lot of time to watch a lot of documentaries and read a lot of books, and you guys, there are better ways to get protein.

Before you get hives and go buying up all the 2% cottage cheese, just relax. I’m not saying cut all your animal protein. I’m just saying tone it down a bit. Not every meal has to be a lean white meat with veggies. There are other (effing delicious) ways to get protein and eat healthy. And you should get in on some of that.

So, to be clear, animal protein means any product coming from an animal. The meat itself, the dairy produced, the eggs — the whole deal.

Here we go with reasons to cut back on animal proteins: Read More

Oh, hey y’all. I know it’s been a while (again). I promise to pick back up now (really) on our regularly scheduled programming (like, one or two posts a week? nothin crazy). I was SUPER THROWN OFF by some stuff, including that pretty intensive ankle surgery I’m still recovering from, but I vow to continue to give you sweet fitnessing tips on the regular.

SO ANYWAY, let’s lead in with a quick chat about working out when it’s hard. I’ve had some struggles lately that have less to do with the surgery itself, and more to do with being significantly out of shape after being fitnessless for a month or two. This happens to a lot of us, for a lot of reasons, including, but not limited to:

  • work gets real busy and knocks you out of your workout schedule
  • you get a puppy and can’t get to the gym without panicking that he/she is practicing his/her house-training, indoors
  • you get injured and can’t physically complete a workout for a while
  • you’re sick and your recovery period just extends into the rest of your life and then you’re embarrassed for not having shown up at the gym and just end up never going back, ever
  • you straight up give up for a while

So, all of these things are very possible, and can lead to weeks or months going by when you’re not working out. Which means that even if you love love LOVED working out, it’s probably gonna be harder when you start again (ps, you HAVE to start again). Which means you won’t be as good at the stuff you were before, and you won’t like it as much because of that, and you’ll be way more likely to want to quit than you were before your Dark Fitnessless Era. Read More

I know we’ve already talked about snacks, and what the best choices are throughout the day, but what happens when you have a random craving for some bullshit food? Chances are you don’t actually need that food, but your body does want something like it. Let’s put together some easy swaps for these bullshit cravings. We’ll go one by one, and break down the things you want but are not going to eat because you’re not an asshole, and what you should replace them with. Here is how you can be awesome at eating things (and not eating things). Read More

Nothing beats completing a totally kickass workout. Your energy is up, your endorphins are flowing, your muscles feel sore for a day or two, and you feel all smug and accomplished cause you are AWESOME. These are all very positive immediate effects of exercising. However, there is one very noticeable, treacherous side effect of exercising, and that is that you are So Damn Hungry.

HEY NO PROBLEM, EATING WILL FIX THAT

Exactly. EXACTLY. Being hungrier means wanting to eat more, which means that if you aren’t careful, you could be well on your way to undoing all of that superfine fitnessing. Especially if you are just starting a workout regimen, or upping your workout game — you can really start to feel the hungry in a big way, and easily eat double the calories you just burned in your ravenous, musclebound haze.

Read More

Oh good, it’s summer in New York City, which means everything smells like hot soda and all of your friends invite you to barbecues in hundred degree heat on a strip of cement outside their apartment because oh my god we are going to take advantage of this sunshine to prove we don’t live in a concrete mass of soullessness isn’t this so fun.

It’s inevitable that you will, at minimum, attend (or HOST, for god’s sake) at least one barbecue this summer season. Barbecues are a hotbed of greasy, mayonnaisey, chip-n-dip-n-beer fitnessing nightmares. This can be very frightening for those of us with high fitness priorities and low self control.

OK I WILL AVOID THEM AND SIT INSIDE WATCHING INSIDE AMY SCHUMER

Well, she is very funny, but I feel like maybe you should live your life and go see your friends and eat food outside with them (#YOLO amirite). And you don’t have to be that weird kid that brought a bag of celery sticks and club soda and carries them around with you all night. You can go, and enjoy your time, and even eat and drink some cool stuff while you’re there.

Read More

Fitnessing is generally pretty awesome. We do cool stuff with our bodies that make it strong and also look pretty alright, we eat things that taste good but are also healthy and smart and give our pretty alright looking bodies what they need, and we get a lot of energy / satisfaction / self efficacy / health benefits from doing these things.  Good for us. What good fitnessing jobs we’re all doing. We should all give our selves some strong, flexed, nutritious pats on the back for the great jobs we’re doing.

AND THEN DESSERT HAPPENS, amiright?

Dessert can be tricky, because first of all, it’s not actually a meal that we need to eat. Secondly, the things you want to be eating for dessert are not the types of things we need, ever. Thirdly, it falls on the late side of the night, usually like right before we go to bed, which is the worst time ever to eat anything.  So this Perfect Storm of unnecessary / terrible content / worst timing can wreak havoc on what was probably already an awesome exercise and nutrition filled day. Read More

For everyone who was worried about the fact that I haven’t written in a while (Hi Mom), I was JUST BUSY and everything is FINE.

For everyone who is not my mom, I recognize that you did not notice, and apologize for being a narcissist.

NOW THEN. Let’s talk about some late night dinners.

Late Night Dinners don’t have to be Hate (your body) Night Dinners (seewhatididthere). A little thinking ahead and refrigeration will go a long way in maintaining some fitnessing while real life things happen. Read More

Snacks are my favorite thing, outside of meals. It’s a great way to eat stuff when it isn’t mealtime. However, it’s also a great way to eat too MUCH stuff, or the WRONG stuff, or at the wrong time, and if you don’t have a healthy option with you, then you just sort of make a quick run to the deli, and whatever just get Pop Chips cause they’re not fried, so, win, but… actually, I’ll just also grab a Twix okbye.

So, first let’s start with WHEN we should eat snacks. The easy answer is when we’re hungry.  But if you’re like me, sometimes this is constantly, and then you need maybe a guideline. I’m a big fan of the “every three hours” rule, which means that while you’re awake, you should be eating either a meal or a snack every three hours. Both Nutritionist #1 and #2 told me that following that rule would help eat more sensibly when it comes to mealtime. Read More

So, fitnessing can be easy if you stay home on the weeknights and cook your own dinner, and also, the weekends too, and also avoid alcohol, and stick to baked chicken and vegetables. Fitnessing can be SO easy.

But, this isn’t a blog for those people. It’s a blog for FUN people. Aren’t we so FUN? And fun people, sometimes (often), go to meet friends for happy hour, to have fun. Which can make fitnessing a little tricky. But it doesn’t mean you can’t still Have It All. So let’s talk about how to make your happy hour completely free of shame hangovers.

There are two main aspects of happy hour. The drinks and the food. You don’t meet for food, you meet for drinks, and then after two of them, both of you are like, “are you hungry? I’m like, sort of HUNGRY, maybe” and then you agree on calamari and nachos “just to pick on something” and now you’ve gone and done it. Everything is ruined. Read More

So this one’s a little obvious, but it’s Friday, so it’s time to take it easy a little.

Make sure you drink enough water, and then maybe drink some more water.  Some people have this in the bag, and if you do, good for you, because this is like one of the cheapest things you can do in fitnessing.  But for some people, it isn’t as natural. Here are all of the times you should drink water:

  1. First thing when you wake up. Drink a full glass of water. Your body is dehydrated — it just went HOURS with NO WATER because SOMEONE was too busy SLEEPING. Your brain needs it to start functioning, and your body needs it to start moving. Drink one glass of water before you do anything else. Read More