Alright I know I’ve been all about Greek Yogurt and grilled chicken breast, but I’ve had a lot of time to watch a lot of documentaries and read a lot of books, and you guys, there are better ways to get protein.
Before you get hives and go buying up all the 2% cottage cheese, just relax. I’m not saying cut all your animal protein. I’m just saying tone it down a bit. Not every meal has to be a lean white meat with veggies. There are other (effing delicious) ways to get protein and eat healthy. And you should get in on some of that.
So, to be clear, animal protein means any product coming from an animal. The meat itself, the dairy produced, the eggs — the whole deal.
Here we go with reasons to cut back on animal proteins: Read More
Hey, you guys want burgers? Of course you do. Everyone wants burgers. But a nice cut of fatty ground beef and American cheese on a sugar-starch bun is NOT gonna cut it for us high class fitnessers. That’s why I am disclosing to you the ultimate turkey burger recipe. These are monsters. They are healthy, delicious, gourmet monsters. Serve this shit to guests because it is SURE TO IMPRESS. This recipe serves two, so triple it and have a dinner party. But only with close friends, because ain’t nobody gonna look cute eating these. Your friendship should be well solidified before consuming these in front of one another. Read More
I know we’ve already talked about snacks, and what the best choices are throughout the day, but what happens when you have a random craving for some bullshit food? Chances are you don’t actually need that food, but your body does want something like it. Let’s put together some easy swaps for these bullshit cravings. We’ll go one by one, and break down the things you want but are not going to eat because you’re not an asshole, and what you should replace them with. Here is how you can be awesome at eating things (and not eating things). Read More
Nothing beats completing a totally kickass workout. Your energy is up, your endorphins are flowing, your muscles feel sore for a day or two, and you feel all smug and accomplished cause you are AWESOME. These are all very positive immediate effects of exercising. However, there is one very noticeable, treacherous side effect of exercising, and that is that you are So Damn Hungry.
HEY NO PROBLEM, EATING WILL FIX THAT
Exactly. EXACTLY. Being hungrier means wanting to eat more, which means that if you aren’t careful, you could be well on your way to undoing all of that superfine fitnessing. Especially if you are just starting a workout regimen, or upping your workout game — you can really start to feel the hungry in a big way, and easily eat double the calories you just burned in your ravenous, musclebound haze.
Oh good, it’s summer in New York City, which means everything smells like hot soda and all of your friends invite you to barbecues in hundred degree heat on a strip of cement outside their apartment because oh my god we are going to take advantage of this sunshine to prove we don’t live in a concrete mass of soullessness isn’t this so fun.
It’s inevitable that you will, at minimum, attend (or HOST, for god’s sake) at least one barbecue this summer season. Barbecues are a hotbed of greasy, mayonnaisey, chip-n-dip-n-beer fitnessing nightmares. This can be very frightening for those of us with high fitness priorities and low self control.
OK I WILL AVOID THEM AND SIT INSIDE WATCHING INSIDE AMY SCHUMER
Well, she is very funny, but I feel like maybe you should live your life and go see your friends and eat food outside with them (#YOLO amirite). And you don’t have to be that weird kid that brought a bag of celery sticks and club soda and carries them around with you all night. You can go, and enjoy your time, and even eat and drink some cool stuff while you’re there.
Fitnessing is generally pretty awesome. We do cool stuff with our bodies that make it strong and also look pretty alright, we eat things that taste good but are also healthy and smart and give our pretty alright looking bodies what they need, and we get a lot of energy / satisfaction / self efficacy / health benefits from doing these things. Good for us. What good fitnessing jobs we’re all doing. We should all give our selves some strong, flexed, nutritious pats on the back for the great jobs we’re doing.
AND THEN DESSERT HAPPENS, amiright?
Dessert can be tricky, because first of all, it’s not actually a meal that we need to eat. Secondly, the things you want to be eating for dessert are not the types of things we need, ever. Thirdly, it falls on the late side of the night, usually like right before we go to bed, which is the worst time ever to eat anything. So this Perfect Storm of unnecessary / terrible content / worst timing can wreak havoc on what was probably already an awesome exercise and nutrition filled day. Read More
For everyone who was worried about the fact that I haven’t written in a while (Hi Mom), I was JUST BUSY and everything is FINE.
For everyone who is not my mom, I recognize that you did not notice, and apologize for being a narcissist.
NOW THEN. Let’s talk about some late night dinners.
Late Night Dinners don’t have to be Hate (your body) Night Dinners (seewhatididthere). A little thinking ahead and refrigeration will go a long way in maintaining some fitnessing while real life things happen. Read More
Snacks are my favorite thing, outside of meals. It’s a great way to eat stuff when it isn’t mealtime. However, it’s also a great way to eat too MUCH stuff, or the WRONG stuff, or at the wrong time, and if you don’t have a healthy option with you, then you just sort of make a quick run to the deli, and whatever just get Pop Chips cause they’re not fried, so, win, but… actually, I’ll just also grab a Twix okbye.
So, first let’s start with WHEN we should eat snacks. The easy answer is when we’re hungry. But if you’re like me, sometimes this is constantly, and then you need maybe a guideline. I’m a big fan of the “every three hours” rule, which means that while you’re awake, you should be eating either a meal or a snack every three hours. Both Nutritionist #1 and #2 told me that following that rule would help eat more sensibly when it comes to mealtime. Read More
Oh hey you guys. So now that it’s getting warmer, and we will start wearing tank tops and shorts, we need to start “eating salads” so we can be “beach ready” or whatever. A salad for lunch? No big deal! I get to eat again later. But a salad for DINNER? This can be difficult.
Don’t worry. It’s possible to make a fast, filling, healthy salad. Here is one of those. Read More
Short answer Yes. But, let’s talk about this, since the fact that you asked means you DON’T KNOW ANYTHING about it.
First let’s do the whole good fat / bad fat / whassadifference thing.
- monounsaturated: olive oil, almonds, peanuts, avocados, etc
- polyunsaturated: salmon, albacore tuna, walnuts, etc
- trans saturated fats: fried foods, pastries, chips, cookies, etc (check ingredients for anything that says “hydrogenated” or “partially hydrogenated”). Do these never! Or close to never.
- saturated fats: whole milk products, red meats, coconut oil, etc. Do these in limited quantities. UPDATE: though coconut oil is technically a saturated fat, a difference in molecular makeup means your body processes it differently than other saturated fats. It also has a ton of other health benefits (noted here by reader Beth–thanks gurl!–and here by my trainer Tracy). So, with coconut oil (as long as it’s raw or unrefined), have at it.
YAH BUT I’M TRYING TO FITNESS, SO LIKE, NO FATS, JUST TO BE SAFE
So, problems with this. First of all fitnessing doesn’t just mean weight loss, it means giving your body the nutrients it needs to be the best physical version of itself possible. Read More